Continuing the trend of regular posting (hopefully)

Greetings again, and I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I spent mine with some friends in the Kirovagrad Region, and had a wonderful time eating and socializing.

I had a very productive meeting with my counterpart today. I actually was able to tell her my feelings about how everything is, and she was very helpful and receptive to my ideas. My language is almost to the point where I can communicate without having to pop open a dictionary every other sentence. The difficulty of being a YD volunteer is that my job is multifacted and I have to guide it. Nothing happens in Ukraine unless I take an initiative. My latest plan of action is four-fold.

1. Attend fourth grade Russian language to improve my speaking ability and learn more grammar.

2. Begin taking a more active role in the English classes at my school, co-teach instead of observing with the occasional 10 minutes of co-teaching

3. Begin private tutoring for the students that excel in English

4. Start work on my project.



I will continue with another installment of my mini-essay series in Ukraine. This time I will focus on popular subject of complaint for me. I'm sure you've heard me complain about it before, but have no fear, I have some positive ideas to introduce to the discussion after my hours of thought.



2. Living in a Small Village



For the first 23 years of my life I grew up in a suburb of a large city; and now I live in a village of around 500 people. This dramatic change caused quite a shock in me, and I'm still reeling from this in many ways. The first change I noticed was that I am no longer anonymous. I've never been much of a person to socialize with people I don't know, and this hasn't really changed. What has changed, since I arrived in Magazynka, is how much others know about me. Everyone I speak to or see on the street knows where I live, what I'm doing here, and what I did last evening. I can say with honest certainty that most people in Brush Prairie Washington did not know or care about me, it's just not the way things are in the states. It's different here, I am probably the most interesting that has happened to my village in years, and no matter what I do or say, it's fascinating to the people in my town.

A popular analogy for the life of volunteers is "living in a fishbowl." I definitely feel this. Although I would like to modify this slightly, Magazynka is more like a fishbowl with a light above it in a dark room. I, the fish, can't really see or understand much of what goes on, but the people in the room see and know what I'm doing. The Ukrainians are ok functioning without a light, but I need it, and it stands out. This doesn't particularly frighten me, it's just a vastly different way to function on a daily basis.

I enjoy change. One of my favorite activities in my house is to move around furniture and reorganize items. This change to a small village is like a change of furniture in my mind. However, grasping the differences people have because of their different enviroments is extraordinarily difficult.

I understand why they are different, but I'm not the most emphatic person out there. In the past, I've preferred to follow a set of rigid guidelines in my mind about how people should be, and I spend time with those people. Peace Corps is definitely changing this. Firstly, no Ukrainian matches this idealistic model. Secondly, of course this model is based around myself, and I'm learning that people in Ukraine do not have the same kind of self-centered nature that people do where I'm from. Instead of your well-being being always related to yourself, it really does matter how your friends and family are. I see this through the way people give so many gifts, the word used often used for for greeting others also wishes good health, students all help each other during tests and during class exercises (much to the dismay of many volunteers) and many more examples. The identity and idea of self is very different in Ukraine, and naturally this is changing my concept of self as well.

Is it worth it living in a small town? I've listed lots of positives, but there are negatives as well. My access to internet is limited to my school, which is better than some volunteers, but still isn't what I would like. I am lonely during the week. It's not that I don't have people I could be spending time with, it's just that I'm exhausted after communicating in Russian the entire day. Another negative is the physical lack of modern day facilities such as a wired phone line, indoor plumbing, and a dedicated area for bathing. However, I surprisingly have been more bothered by lack of internet at my house than I have by the other inconveniences. Once you live a certain way, it becomes surprisingly easier to continue living that way.